my first diet: revisited

Yes, I am still dieting. I will say that this is going different than I imagined it. There are many reasons why this is true. For starters, I've never been much of a snacker. I've always avoided snacking out of a love for my three square meals a day. I guess it's not really fair to call them meals. They were more like feasts. Yea. I enjoyed my three square feasts a day. Now-a-days with this diet in full scale, I am always hungry, because two bowls of cereal and a sensible dinner each day doesn't constitute as a feast. Not even if you add them all together. Needless to say, I am starving a good portion of my day.

I will not lie to my readers (I do have readers don't I? Echo...echo...echo). I have cheated a few times on this diet. I'm finding it easy to cheat. Again, this is my first diet. I've done plenty of spiritual fasts, but never dieting. When you cheat on a fast, you feel terrible. The guilt you have after cheating on a fast compared to the guilt you have after cheating on a diet does not even begin to compare.

All that said I am losing weight. And then gaining it back again. And then losing it again. In fact my weight is fluxuating so much I think it's begining to mess with my equalibrium. I will step on the scale in the morning to find that I am the same weight only to step on a few hours after breakfast to witness a three pound loss. I think I weight the most in late afternoon and the least right before I go to bed. It makes no sense at all, but at least the last thing I see at night is a smaller number on that scale. That helps me feel better as I devour a midnight snack, and not quite as guilty as a awake in a bed with candy wrappers spread all over it.

current weight: 173 lbs