rockstar

I've been musing over the past few years on getting to know God. Not just saying that I know God, or believing that I know God, but actually in the truest and purest way, actually and genuinely knowing God. This past January I was blessed to publish a book about getting honest with ourselves and taking an inventory on our relationship with God. Getting our presumptions dirty and finding out if we know God as organically and robustly as we say we do. My book, Black Coffee, is a book that journeys through the process of knowing God. In short, how we get to know God? Lately I've been consumed with the question, why do we get to know God?

What started off as a simple unoffensive question has, for me, turned into a beacon that has located the ugliest, most wretched, intentions and motives that have laid dormant and hidden in the deepest parts of my heart. I've always confessed to wanting to be like the David of the Bible. A man after God's own heart. But the question is, am I desiring this to give God glory or myself glory? Am I desiring this because I desperately want to know Him more, or am I just constructing a sturdy foundation for my reputation? I truly believe that there are far more people in the church aspiring to be rockstars in the Kingdom rather than moving it forward. As discouraging as this may sound, there is so much hope in this. If we will begin to not make the assumption that we are after the power of God without the alterior motive of self-seeking ambitions and fame, we can finally make some headway in actually becoming a people like David. A people after God's heart.

I know this is a blog and not a manuscript, so I won't unpack every detail I've been struggling through on this avenue. I do want to leave you with this question that I've been asking myself and God. Please don't let this just be another quote. Let this question pierce straight through your perfect anxiety-free spiritual life. Allow it to seep into the deepest canals of your heart.

Do I want to be famous for loving God, or do I love God in order to be famous?